My first day of graduate school starts tomorrow. I don't know what to think or feel. I've already been to the school a few times so I'm used to that but.... I just am not as excited as I thought I'd be!
I'm considering a transfer back to Austin, for faculty research and the fact that the University of Texas flagship is there with its numerous resources. I knew it wasn't going to be bad if I went to a program that (1) didn't have any sports teams and (2) wasn't connected to undergraduate programs.
I'm 99% sure I'm not going to keep my current major though, because there's very little flexibility and if you know me, you know I love to be aloof and airy and I need my space to try out different things. Austin might be a better fit but Houston was my first choice simply because it was close to home and my closest friends and family were near.
Part of the reason why I'm dreading this whole experience is because of where I'm living. The surrounding area, while not Oakland in the least, is extremely underdeveloped. We're on the side of the highway after all and it's just unsightly. I hate Houston. I've been here my entire life and my thoughts and feelings on Houston have not wavered. But I'm just going to suck it up and get through a year down here, and hopefully secure an international practicum and then start back in Austin. I cannot imagine myself being here for a full two years.
Thank goodness I have my family and Michelle, Janette, and Katy nearby as my social network. If it wasn't for them, this experience would be even lonelier. It doesn't make it any easier when I say bye to my little sister and drive off from beautiful, safe, spacious suburbia and head into the chaos that is Houston.
But while I am in Houston, I will seek out any faculty that will hear me out and hopefully guide me to the right direction. What if I don't want to be involved directly with the daily practical affairs of public health and am instead interested in the more highly theoretical work of a researcher? Is there a way where I can combine my interests in global health + capacity development + politics + culture? Is it possible to strike a balance between the theoretical and practical if I go the PhD route?
So many more questions and I fear I'm going to ask a lot more before I get any concrete answers...
But first things first: let's see how the courses are for this semester, put in a change of major, and then put in a petition to transfer to the Austin Regional Campus....
More later,
Dean
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Exploring the TMC
So I mustered the strength to drive to the Park and Ride today... and got last several times.... and even got lost on the way back to my place. Ugh.
What a crazy, long, hot, day. I think I successfully came up with a route to get from the Rail to the SPH while staying in air-conditioned environments for as long as possible. Most people who saw me dramatically whip my hair and head around in circles trying to determine where the hell I was were more than happy to point me in the right direction... only problem is each person had a set of about 10 different steps so I resigned myself to nodding and saying, "Yes," when I had no freaking clue what they were talking about.
But no matter, no matter - I managed to get to where I needed to be. Even on the Metro Rail where I stayed on for an extra two stops... I just had to get back on and go the other way. Ugh.
There were definitely a few condescending stares after their fake-ass smiles to me. I'm sorry... it's over 100 degrees so yes, I am fucking wearing a white V-neck and khaki shorts and Sperry's. Get the hell over it. This is why I miss Austin - everyone is so laid-back they don't care what you're wearing.
I don't know how I feel about the SPH and just the general environment of the TMC. I kinda think it's all just so overrated. It's too massive and sprawling I'm surprised it actually functions as well as it does. It's just all so overwhelming, and not in a positive way. I miss the days where I could just walk to campus instead of driving and THEN taking an electric train to campus. I miss Austin and am seriously contemplating petitioning to transfer campuses back to Austin. But I do need a legitimate reason to do so. Would faculty research and pursuing a dual degree be sufficient?
It sounds like I'm already sentencing my entire graduate experience in Houston in just one day and I'm trying to resist doing so. Honestly I can't help but go into orientation with the mindset that I'm not going to click with anyone... but I'll try my best to give it a chance.
More later.
DHP
What a crazy, long, hot, day. I think I successfully came up with a route to get from the Rail to the SPH while staying in air-conditioned environments for as long as possible. Most people who saw me dramatically whip my hair and head around in circles trying to determine where the hell I was were more than happy to point me in the right direction... only problem is each person had a set of about 10 different steps so I resigned myself to nodding and saying, "Yes," when I had no freaking clue what they were talking about.
But no matter, no matter - I managed to get to where I needed to be. Even on the Metro Rail where I stayed on for an extra two stops... I just had to get back on and go the other way. Ugh.
There were definitely a few condescending stares after their fake-ass smiles to me. I'm sorry... it's over 100 degrees so yes, I am fucking wearing a white V-neck and khaki shorts and Sperry's. Get the hell over it. This is why I miss Austin - everyone is so laid-back they don't care what you're wearing.
I don't know how I feel about the SPH and just the general environment of the TMC. I kinda think it's all just so overrated. It's too massive and sprawling I'm surprised it actually functions as well as it does. It's just all so overwhelming, and not in a positive way. I miss the days where I could just walk to campus instead of driving and THEN taking an electric train to campus. I miss Austin and am seriously contemplating petitioning to transfer campuses back to Austin. But I do need a legitimate reason to do so. Would faculty research and pursuing a dual degree be sufficient?
It sounds like I'm already sentencing my entire graduate experience in Houston in just one day and I'm trying to resist doing so. Honestly I can't help but go into orientation with the mindset that I'm not going to click with anyone... but I'll try my best to give it a chance.
More later.
DHP
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Fast-Forward
I reread my old entries this time last year and I was in Oakland writing about how terrible it was and that I wanted to come back home. And it seemed like my life went to Helena Handbasket. The rest is history...
And now here I am, writing another entry in my new place after an awesome dinner party with MJL, JM, and KEG. We've been talking about this for a while now - when we were all going to be reunited in a city... and here it is. We're together again. It's not quite the same as Austin, but it's as close as we're going to get.
I'm a year older, but that one year required a lot of growing up and an enormous dose of reality. When I think about it, it was incredibly selfish of me to continue to push to move across the country and take out loans to pay $40,000 to take organic chemistry and physics - these classes can be taken down the road for about $500, maybe even a little cheaper. I think I wanted to get away from family and the stress and sacrifice they will have had to suffer while I'm miles away. I didn't want to deal with it, but coming home defeated actually made me feel closer to my family and appreciate just how much my parents have done for me. The least I could do was play chauffeur to my sister and babysit her while my parents took care of the real problems.
It wasn't a waste of a year. I graduated a year early from high school so I've broken even. This past year allowed me to mature and challenged me to determine just what was important to me and what I wanted to achieve.
I hope that I'm at least a little more realistic and pragmatic now. I drove to my new place today (I don't know whether to call it an apartment or a house or a loft...) with my handy-dandy GPS! Whooo! If you don't know me, this a big fucking deal because Queen Dean doesn't drive and is terrified of it. But I sucked it up and got through it.... and now, to figure out how to avoid tolls and EZ tag lanes...
I was a little sad last night and this morning when I woke up because I knew I was moving out... again... for the third time. Hopefully this will be the last time, damn it. But it was business as usual when I packed up the rest of my things and it's comforting to know that my parents literally live about 30 minutes down the street.
Tomorrow I plan on getting acquainted with the transportation system and getting to campus. I feel like I'm trying to tackle NYC or something. It's only the TMC. I'm going to try and be as open-minded and open-hearted as I can as this new chapter starts for me. Graduate school. I'm starting grad school. It's weird, right? A master's degree. How are the other students? The faculty? Will I get to focus on the issues I really want to? Will I make any new friends? Will I get along with people? Will I have strong and cordial relationships with the professors?
I'm hoping for the best. I'll keep you posted on new developments as they occur...
Before I close the entry - the London 2012 Olympics. I had been meaning to blog about it. I have never experienced an Olympic Games where I've been completely and utterly obsessed, for lack of a better word. If it wasn't for the Olympics, I'd sleep in every day but I had a set schedule... wake up, brush teeth, put on face, turn on TV and desktop and open windows for live event coverage. And sit for the next six hours or so, texting furiously with Daniel and Janel. We were all watching the same thing and if anyone had errands to run (i.e. had to rejoin reality), there was at last one other person on call to text with updates.
I'm actually a little depressed now that London 2012 is over. There's a void in my heart. And I feel like I don't care about anything sports-related until Rio 2016. But I'm sure once Texas teams start up again in a few weeks, I'll be completely immersed in supporting my alma mater. =D
On that note, my eyes are burning. Time for bed. More later!
DHP
And now here I am, writing another entry in my new place after an awesome dinner party with MJL, JM, and KEG. We've been talking about this for a while now - when we were all going to be reunited in a city... and here it is. We're together again. It's not quite the same as Austin, but it's as close as we're going to get.
I'm a year older, but that one year required a lot of growing up and an enormous dose of reality. When I think about it, it was incredibly selfish of me to continue to push to move across the country and take out loans to pay $40,000 to take organic chemistry and physics - these classes can be taken down the road for about $500, maybe even a little cheaper. I think I wanted to get away from family and the stress and sacrifice they will have had to suffer while I'm miles away. I didn't want to deal with it, but coming home defeated actually made me feel closer to my family and appreciate just how much my parents have done for me. The least I could do was play chauffeur to my sister and babysit her while my parents took care of the real problems.
It wasn't a waste of a year. I graduated a year early from high school so I've broken even. This past year allowed me to mature and challenged me to determine just what was important to me and what I wanted to achieve.
I hope that I'm at least a little more realistic and pragmatic now. I drove to my new place today (I don't know whether to call it an apartment or a house or a loft...) with my handy-dandy GPS! Whooo! If you don't know me, this a big fucking deal because Queen Dean doesn't drive and is terrified of it. But I sucked it up and got through it.... and now, to figure out how to avoid tolls and EZ tag lanes...
I was a little sad last night and this morning when I woke up because I knew I was moving out... again... for the third time. Hopefully this will be the last time, damn it. But it was business as usual when I packed up the rest of my things and it's comforting to know that my parents literally live about 30 minutes down the street.
Tomorrow I plan on getting acquainted with the transportation system and getting to campus. I feel like I'm trying to tackle NYC or something. It's only the TMC. I'm going to try and be as open-minded and open-hearted as I can as this new chapter starts for me. Graduate school. I'm starting grad school. It's weird, right? A master's degree. How are the other students? The faculty? Will I get to focus on the issues I really want to? Will I make any new friends? Will I get along with people? Will I have strong and cordial relationships with the professors?
I'm hoping for the best. I'll keep you posted on new developments as they occur...
Before I close the entry - the London 2012 Olympics. I had been meaning to blog about it. I have never experienced an Olympic Games where I've been completely and utterly obsessed, for lack of a better word. If it wasn't for the Olympics, I'd sleep in every day but I had a set schedule... wake up, brush teeth, put on face, turn on TV and desktop and open windows for live event coverage. And sit for the next six hours or so, texting furiously with Daniel and Janel. We were all watching the same thing and if anyone had errands to run (i.e. had to rejoin reality), there was at last one other person on call to text with updates.
I'm actually a little depressed now that London 2012 is over. There's a void in my heart. And I feel like I don't care about anything sports-related until Rio 2016. But I'm sure once Texas teams start up again in a few weeks, I'll be completely immersed in supporting my alma mater. =D
On that note, my eyes are burning. Time for bed. More later!
DHP
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