Thanksgiving was fabulous yesterday. It was a much smaller affair compared to last year but that's okay. We were smarter this time around: we ate earlier so we'd have time to lounge about, gossip, and then make a go for round 2! I'd say it worked beautifully because I was able to get more of my uncle's famous turkey and light and airy mashed potatoes. I think my viral URI I've been dealing with for the past week has finally abated, which gave me some relief just in time for all the food!
I've been meaning to get an entry in but I just got bogged down with school. Holy smokes I can't believe I only have two weeks left! WHOOO. Semester 1 of grad school down! That flew by! Of course, I imagine it wouldn't be so hard to go by quickly when I only have class Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.
After a couple of weeks of agonizing pain, I've decided to go through with my transfer to the Austin Regional Campus. I've registered for my courses and have secured housing, at least through July 2013. The August - December lease will be trickier, but hopefully manageable.
While I was in Austin a few weeks ago looking at housing, I will admit I felt completely out of place. There were so many undergrads running around and I felt like campus no longer belonged to me. While obviously accurate, I felt almost isolated from everything. It probably didn't help that nearly all of my friends are no longer in Austin. Long story short: things were no longer the same. I had a life in Austin prior to the MPH and coming back as a grad student has put me in a very interesting position.
That's why I've been back and forth, debating whether or not I should ultimately transfer. Finally, I arrived at the conclusion that even though things are different, it's not like I'd be in constant contact with the flagship institution or its students (my campus is not even on the main campus) and in the end, I'm making the move for school, not to recreate my social environment of two years ago. And really, all it takes is driving into the Medical Center and hopping on that Metro Rail to push me into moving back to Austin.
So I'll be packing again and moving early January. Again, I want to travel lightly since I only intend to be in Austin for ONE year. This time next year, I'll be packing again to move my back stuff back home while hopefully also getting ready for my thesis and practicum in Brazil.
As for my courses this semester, I'm not going to pretend - I'm so glad they're almost over! To think that I considered a career in policy analysis or going to public policy or law school. What a disaster that would've been! While I enjoyed the coursework and challenged to make sense of my personal politics with the realities of real-world legislation, politics, and economics, I never again want to take another policy course during my MPH. I have a book report and final left for epi; a paper and presentations left for policy analysis; and about five things left for law and advocacy. I can do this! I can push through and get things done! It'll be Christmas before I know it.
I'm excited to finally take some health promotion/ behavioral science coursework next spring. Hopefully they tickle my fancy more than this dry policy work.
Now I need to rant about career aspirations. I have to be honest, I slipped and considered medicine again. I know, it's terribly isn't it? I treat medicine like a really bad ex-boyfriend who you're constantly on-and-off with but the sex is just so ridiculously bombastic you can't help yourself! You flirt around with some other potential suitors, but you always end back up with him. So Ross & Rachel.
But really - I've gotten in quite a few tiffs with my mom about my direction with public health. Long story short, I think she wants me to do medicine simply for the job security. And obviously, being me, I have rebelled against that at every turn. I've been looking at DrPH and PhD programs and yes, I've eve re-visited the whole med school thing again. Rather than try and fight and definitively quash the possibility of any one career, I have to make an effort to just consider them.
I'm trying to make everything fit together seamlessly, logically, and without a hitch. But let's get real - when has everything ever gone according to plan in my life? After the whole Oakland fiasco, perfection went out the window me. Actually, after that first semester at UT, perfection committed suicide by jumping out the window.
Brazil. Health promotion. Physical activity. Sport culture. Global health. International development. Social and behavioral sciences. Sports medicine.
How the fuck do I make all these things go together?! The basic truth is: I just don't have a freaking clue. And I'm going to try and sit back and enjoy the process and go wherever life takes me. Unfortunately I'm just too damn anal and Type A. But I'm going to try and be patient.
And now... it's time for a nap. It's rainy and gloomy outside. =)
Until next time!
Dean
Friday, November 23, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Y.O.L.O.
Y.O.L.O. A good friend of mine taught me what this acronym meant. It simply means, You Only Live Once.
It is with this premise that I submitted my paperwork to transfer to Austin in the spring. I'm nervous and excited but I feel like this needs to happen so I can move forward with my life. Since I moved back home, I think I've become dependent on my parents and the conveniences of Suburbia.
I think moving away, while obviously not convenient or financially palatable, will do me some good. I need to grow up again, regain independence and ultimately, be where the professors are who are doing the research I want to be part of.
I've been in some sort of funk ever since school has started. Something just feels off. Maybe it's where I'm at, maybe it's what I'm studying.... I just don't know.
With the move to Austin underway, my parents want to know my next plan in excruciating detail. Well in all honesty, my answer to their questions is mostly, "I don't know." I'm beginning to this k that's okay. In the past, I was a meticulous planner, strategically orchestrating everything. And where has that gotten me?! Not particularly far. I think I'm just going to play it by ear and go where my heart tells me to go.
Sometimes when I freak out about my career, I revert to the whole maybe-I-should-go-to-med-school attitude. But in one of my epiphanies, I think I realized why I keep running back to medicine: because it's safe, predictable. But when have I ever been orthodox? I'm aloof, airy and if I were to consider a doctorate, I think a PhD would be more accommodating because I like so many different things. Medicine doesn't give me the chance to do what I want to do and it's so hierarchical that I don't think I could conform to the narrow parameters of the profession.
But I just have to hold steady, be true to myself and have faith that it'll work out in the end.
More to come later!
Dean
It is with this premise that I submitted my paperwork to transfer to Austin in the spring. I'm nervous and excited but I feel like this needs to happen so I can move forward with my life. Since I moved back home, I think I've become dependent on my parents and the conveniences of Suburbia.
I think moving away, while obviously not convenient or financially palatable, will do me some good. I need to grow up again, regain independence and ultimately, be where the professors are who are doing the research I want to be part of.
I've been in some sort of funk ever since school has started. Something just feels off. Maybe it's where I'm at, maybe it's what I'm studying.... I just don't know.
With the move to Austin underway, my parents want to know my next plan in excruciating detail. Well in all honesty, my answer to their questions is mostly, "I don't know." I'm beginning to this k that's okay. In the past, I was a meticulous planner, strategically orchestrating everything. And where has that gotten me?! Not particularly far. I think I'm just going to play it by ear and go where my heart tells me to go.
Sometimes when I freak out about my career, I revert to the whole maybe-I-should-go-to-med-school attitude. But in one of my epiphanies, I think I realized why I keep running back to medicine: because it's safe, predictable. But when have I ever been orthodox? I'm aloof, airy and if I were to consider a doctorate, I think a PhD would be more accommodating because I like so many different things. Medicine doesn't give me the chance to do what I want to do and it's so hierarchical that I don't think I could conform to the narrow parameters of the profession.
But I just have to hold steady, be true to myself and have faith that it'll work out in the end.
More to come later!
Dean
Sunday, August 26, 2012
And so a new chapter begins....
My first day of graduate school starts tomorrow. I don't know what to think or feel. I've already been to the school a few times so I'm used to that but.... I just am not as excited as I thought I'd be!
I'm considering a transfer back to Austin, for faculty research and the fact that the University of Texas flagship is there with its numerous resources. I knew it wasn't going to be bad if I went to a program that (1) didn't have any sports teams and (2) wasn't connected to undergraduate programs.
I'm 99% sure I'm not going to keep my current major though, because there's very little flexibility and if you know me, you know I love to be aloof and airy and I need my space to try out different things. Austin might be a better fit but Houston was my first choice simply because it was close to home and my closest friends and family were near.
Part of the reason why I'm dreading this whole experience is because of where I'm living. The surrounding area, while not Oakland in the least, is extremely underdeveloped. We're on the side of the highway after all and it's just unsightly. I hate Houston. I've been here my entire life and my thoughts and feelings on Houston have not wavered. But I'm just going to suck it up and get through a year down here, and hopefully secure an international practicum and then start back in Austin. I cannot imagine myself being here for a full two years.
Thank goodness I have my family and Michelle, Janette, and Katy nearby as my social network. If it wasn't for them, this experience would be even lonelier. It doesn't make it any easier when I say bye to my little sister and drive off from beautiful, safe, spacious suburbia and head into the chaos that is Houston.
But while I am in Houston, I will seek out any faculty that will hear me out and hopefully guide me to the right direction. What if I don't want to be involved directly with the daily practical affairs of public health and am instead interested in the more highly theoretical work of a researcher? Is there a way where I can combine my interests in global health + capacity development + politics + culture? Is it possible to strike a balance between the theoretical and practical if I go the PhD route?
So many more questions and I fear I'm going to ask a lot more before I get any concrete answers...
But first things first: let's see how the courses are for this semester, put in a change of major, and then put in a petition to transfer to the Austin Regional Campus....
More later,
Dean
I'm considering a transfer back to Austin, for faculty research and the fact that the University of Texas flagship is there with its numerous resources. I knew it wasn't going to be bad if I went to a program that (1) didn't have any sports teams and (2) wasn't connected to undergraduate programs.
I'm 99% sure I'm not going to keep my current major though, because there's very little flexibility and if you know me, you know I love to be aloof and airy and I need my space to try out different things. Austin might be a better fit but Houston was my first choice simply because it was close to home and my closest friends and family were near.
Part of the reason why I'm dreading this whole experience is because of where I'm living. The surrounding area, while not Oakland in the least, is extremely underdeveloped. We're on the side of the highway after all and it's just unsightly. I hate Houston. I've been here my entire life and my thoughts and feelings on Houston have not wavered. But I'm just going to suck it up and get through a year down here, and hopefully secure an international practicum and then start back in Austin. I cannot imagine myself being here for a full two years.
Thank goodness I have my family and Michelle, Janette, and Katy nearby as my social network. If it wasn't for them, this experience would be even lonelier. It doesn't make it any easier when I say bye to my little sister and drive off from beautiful, safe, spacious suburbia and head into the chaos that is Houston.
But while I am in Houston, I will seek out any faculty that will hear me out and hopefully guide me to the right direction. What if I don't want to be involved directly with the daily practical affairs of public health and am instead interested in the more highly theoretical work of a researcher? Is there a way where I can combine my interests in global health + capacity development + politics + culture? Is it possible to strike a balance between the theoretical and practical if I go the PhD route?
So many more questions and I fear I'm going to ask a lot more before I get any concrete answers...
But first things first: let's see how the courses are for this semester, put in a change of major, and then put in a petition to transfer to the Austin Regional Campus....
More later,
Dean
Monday, August 20, 2012
Exploring the TMC
So I mustered the strength to drive to the Park and Ride today... and got last several times.... and even got lost on the way back to my place. Ugh.
What a crazy, long, hot, day. I think I successfully came up with a route to get from the Rail to the SPH while staying in air-conditioned environments for as long as possible. Most people who saw me dramatically whip my hair and head around in circles trying to determine where the hell I was were more than happy to point me in the right direction... only problem is each person had a set of about 10 different steps so I resigned myself to nodding and saying, "Yes," when I had no freaking clue what they were talking about.
But no matter, no matter - I managed to get to where I needed to be. Even on the Metro Rail where I stayed on for an extra two stops... I just had to get back on and go the other way. Ugh.
There were definitely a few condescending stares after their fake-ass smiles to me. I'm sorry... it's over 100 degrees so yes, I am fucking wearing a white V-neck and khaki shorts and Sperry's. Get the hell over it. This is why I miss Austin - everyone is so laid-back they don't care what you're wearing.
I don't know how I feel about the SPH and just the general environment of the TMC. I kinda think it's all just so overrated. It's too massive and sprawling I'm surprised it actually functions as well as it does. It's just all so overwhelming, and not in a positive way. I miss the days where I could just walk to campus instead of driving and THEN taking an electric train to campus. I miss Austin and am seriously contemplating petitioning to transfer campuses back to Austin. But I do need a legitimate reason to do so. Would faculty research and pursuing a dual degree be sufficient?
It sounds like I'm already sentencing my entire graduate experience in Houston in just one day and I'm trying to resist doing so. Honestly I can't help but go into orientation with the mindset that I'm not going to click with anyone... but I'll try my best to give it a chance.
More later.
DHP
What a crazy, long, hot, day. I think I successfully came up with a route to get from the Rail to the SPH while staying in air-conditioned environments for as long as possible. Most people who saw me dramatically whip my hair and head around in circles trying to determine where the hell I was were more than happy to point me in the right direction... only problem is each person had a set of about 10 different steps so I resigned myself to nodding and saying, "Yes," when I had no freaking clue what they were talking about.
But no matter, no matter - I managed to get to where I needed to be. Even on the Metro Rail where I stayed on for an extra two stops... I just had to get back on and go the other way. Ugh.
There were definitely a few condescending stares after their fake-ass smiles to me. I'm sorry... it's over 100 degrees so yes, I am fucking wearing a white V-neck and khaki shorts and Sperry's. Get the hell over it. This is why I miss Austin - everyone is so laid-back they don't care what you're wearing.
I don't know how I feel about the SPH and just the general environment of the TMC. I kinda think it's all just so overrated. It's too massive and sprawling I'm surprised it actually functions as well as it does. It's just all so overwhelming, and not in a positive way. I miss the days where I could just walk to campus instead of driving and THEN taking an electric train to campus. I miss Austin and am seriously contemplating petitioning to transfer campuses back to Austin. But I do need a legitimate reason to do so. Would faculty research and pursuing a dual degree be sufficient?
It sounds like I'm already sentencing my entire graduate experience in Houston in just one day and I'm trying to resist doing so. Honestly I can't help but go into orientation with the mindset that I'm not going to click with anyone... but I'll try my best to give it a chance.
More later.
DHP
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Fast-Forward
I reread my old entries this time last year and I was in Oakland writing about how terrible it was and that I wanted to come back home. And it seemed like my life went to Helena Handbasket. The rest is history...
And now here I am, writing another entry in my new place after an awesome dinner party with MJL, JM, and KEG. We've been talking about this for a while now - when we were all going to be reunited in a city... and here it is. We're together again. It's not quite the same as Austin, but it's as close as we're going to get.
I'm a year older, but that one year required a lot of growing up and an enormous dose of reality. When I think about it, it was incredibly selfish of me to continue to push to move across the country and take out loans to pay $40,000 to take organic chemistry and physics - these classes can be taken down the road for about $500, maybe even a little cheaper. I think I wanted to get away from family and the stress and sacrifice they will have had to suffer while I'm miles away. I didn't want to deal with it, but coming home defeated actually made me feel closer to my family and appreciate just how much my parents have done for me. The least I could do was play chauffeur to my sister and babysit her while my parents took care of the real problems.
It wasn't a waste of a year. I graduated a year early from high school so I've broken even. This past year allowed me to mature and challenged me to determine just what was important to me and what I wanted to achieve.
I hope that I'm at least a little more realistic and pragmatic now. I drove to my new place today (I don't know whether to call it an apartment or a house or a loft...) with my handy-dandy GPS! Whooo! If you don't know me, this a big fucking deal because Queen Dean doesn't drive and is terrified of it. But I sucked it up and got through it.... and now, to figure out how to avoid tolls and EZ tag lanes...
I was a little sad last night and this morning when I woke up because I knew I was moving out... again... for the third time. Hopefully this will be the last time, damn it. But it was business as usual when I packed up the rest of my things and it's comforting to know that my parents literally live about 30 minutes down the street.
Tomorrow I plan on getting acquainted with the transportation system and getting to campus. I feel like I'm trying to tackle NYC or something. It's only the TMC. I'm going to try and be as open-minded and open-hearted as I can as this new chapter starts for me. Graduate school. I'm starting grad school. It's weird, right? A master's degree. How are the other students? The faculty? Will I get to focus on the issues I really want to? Will I make any new friends? Will I get along with people? Will I have strong and cordial relationships with the professors?
I'm hoping for the best. I'll keep you posted on new developments as they occur...
Before I close the entry - the London 2012 Olympics. I had been meaning to blog about it. I have never experienced an Olympic Games where I've been completely and utterly obsessed, for lack of a better word. If it wasn't for the Olympics, I'd sleep in every day but I had a set schedule... wake up, brush teeth, put on face, turn on TV and desktop and open windows for live event coverage. And sit for the next six hours or so, texting furiously with Daniel and Janel. We were all watching the same thing and if anyone had errands to run (i.e. had to rejoin reality), there was at last one other person on call to text with updates.
I'm actually a little depressed now that London 2012 is over. There's a void in my heart. And I feel like I don't care about anything sports-related until Rio 2016. But I'm sure once Texas teams start up again in a few weeks, I'll be completely immersed in supporting my alma mater. =D
On that note, my eyes are burning. Time for bed. More later!
DHP
And now here I am, writing another entry in my new place after an awesome dinner party with MJL, JM, and KEG. We've been talking about this for a while now - when we were all going to be reunited in a city... and here it is. We're together again. It's not quite the same as Austin, but it's as close as we're going to get.
I'm a year older, but that one year required a lot of growing up and an enormous dose of reality. When I think about it, it was incredibly selfish of me to continue to push to move across the country and take out loans to pay $40,000 to take organic chemistry and physics - these classes can be taken down the road for about $500, maybe even a little cheaper. I think I wanted to get away from family and the stress and sacrifice they will have had to suffer while I'm miles away. I didn't want to deal with it, but coming home defeated actually made me feel closer to my family and appreciate just how much my parents have done for me. The least I could do was play chauffeur to my sister and babysit her while my parents took care of the real problems.
It wasn't a waste of a year. I graduated a year early from high school so I've broken even. This past year allowed me to mature and challenged me to determine just what was important to me and what I wanted to achieve.
I hope that I'm at least a little more realistic and pragmatic now. I drove to my new place today (I don't know whether to call it an apartment or a house or a loft...) with my handy-dandy GPS! Whooo! If you don't know me, this a big fucking deal because Queen Dean doesn't drive and is terrified of it. But I sucked it up and got through it.... and now, to figure out how to avoid tolls and EZ tag lanes...
I was a little sad last night and this morning when I woke up because I knew I was moving out... again... for the third time. Hopefully this will be the last time, damn it. But it was business as usual when I packed up the rest of my things and it's comforting to know that my parents literally live about 30 minutes down the street.
Tomorrow I plan on getting acquainted with the transportation system and getting to campus. I feel like I'm trying to tackle NYC or something. It's only the TMC. I'm going to try and be as open-minded and open-hearted as I can as this new chapter starts for me. Graduate school. I'm starting grad school. It's weird, right? A master's degree. How are the other students? The faculty? Will I get to focus on the issues I really want to? Will I make any new friends? Will I get along with people? Will I have strong and cordial relationships with the professors?
I'm hoping for the best. I'll keep you posted on new developments as they occur...
Before I close the entry - the London 2012 Olympics. I had been meaning to blog about it. I have never experienced an Olympic Games where I've been completely and utterly obsessed, for lack of a better word. If it wasn't for the Olympics, I'd sleep in every day but I had a set schedule... wake up, brush teeth, put on face, turn on TV and desktop and open windows for live event coverage. And sit for the next six hours or so, texting furiously with Daniel and Janel. We were all watching the same thing and if anyone had errands to run (i.e. had to rejoin reality), there was at last one other person on call to text with updates.
I'm actually a little depressed now that London 2012 is over. There's a void in my heart. And I feel like I don't care about anything sports-related until Rio 2016. But I'm sure once Texas teams start up again in a few weeks, I'll be completely immersed in supporting my alma mater. =D
On that note, my eyes are burning. Time for bed. More later!
DHP
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Is summer already almost over?
The Opening Ceremonies of the London '12 Summer Olympics will occur tomorrow! AHHH. I can't believe it's already here. I wonder what it's like to be even a spectator there. It must be a madhouse right now, full of energy. I can't believe this time four years ago, I was living in Austin taking CC 306M - Medical Terminology. #TimeFlies
The first summer session flew by as well. I miraculously made an A in organic chemistry I! Hah, another science A for the books y'all. I teetered back and forth between the second semester of ochem or physics and ultimately decided, I want to take neither. I want to enjoy the rest of my summer and don't want to be in lab or drive 30 minutes anywhere to spend five hours at night suffering through pedagogical incompetence. So I compromised: I'm auditing the second semester of ochem. I'm used to the instructor and I like the other students in class. I can still follow the material and it gives me something to do during the day and I don't have to be in lab. In the end, it's all just the pursuit of knowledge for the sake of knowledge itself. If I ever take ochem 2 or biochemistry, at least I will have seen the material once before.
I have found housing, thanks to the help of Michelle! I'll be moving in August 4th. I'm a little nervous but excited. New social situations are always laced with a bit of anxiety right? Hopefully the transportation issues to and from school won't be terrible.
I officially told my parents that as of right now, I'm not applying to med school. I'm going to focus on public health and see where it leads me. If the opportunity somehow re-presents itself, I may apply to med school later on but honestly, there's an entire world out there to discover: public health, policy analysis and global health... Medicine isn't really even in contention now.
Can you believe I said that? A year ago, my bags and boxes were packed and ready to hop on a plane to Northern California and I couldn't see myself doing anything other than seeing patients. Fast-forward a year - with actual everyday physician shadowing under my belt and a more realistic view of the realities of practicing medicine - and I've come to the conclusion that even if I did have an MD, I would do a residency in Preventive Medicine and not even practice clinical medicine.
What's the point of that?! I just took up a spot in a medical school class that someone else could've taken to become the next pioneering neurosurgeon or helped fill the gap in primary care in urban and/or underserved areas! Not to mention, I just don't want to assume the major risk that is student loan debt. I enjoy science and patient interaction - but those alone are not enough to undergo medical training. I think your heart really has to be in it, and mine simply isn't. Without that passion, it just becomes meaningless robotic movements that will lead to years of resentment, sadness and wasted time - and time is money. For me personally, the cons now far outweigh the pros of becoming an American physician.
The prospect of me not entering medicine is new and refreshing. I'm going to try my best to take advantage of all that the MPH has to offer - maybe do research and a thesis, an international practicum or internship, etc.
Lots of new experiences to come and hopefully, they won't be too overwhelming and will make me become a better person, and a more informed and productive citizen. More posts to come!
DHP
The first summer session flew by as well. I miraculously made an A in organic chemistry I! Hah, another science A for the books y'all. I teetered back and forth between the second semester of ochem or physics and ultimately decided, I want to take neither. I want to enjoy the rest of my summer and don't want to be in lab or drive 30 minutes anywhere to spend five hours at night suffering through pedagogical incompetence. So I compromised: I'm auditing the second semester of ochem. I'm used to the instructor and I like the other students in class. I can still follow the material and it gives me something to do during the day and I don't have to be in lab. In the end, it's all just the pursuit of knowledge for the sake of knowledge itself. If I ever take ochem 2 or biochemistry, at least I will have seen the material once before.
I have found housing, thanks to the help of Michelle! I'll be moving in August 4th. I'm a little nervous but excited. New social situations are always laced with a bit of anxiety right? Hopefully the transportation issues to and from school won't be terrible.
I officially told my parents that as of right now, I'm not applying to med school. I'm going to focus on public health and see where it leads me. If the opportunity somehow re-presents itself, I may apply to med school later on but honestly, there's an entire world out there to discover: public health, policy analysis and global health... Medicine isn't really even in contention now.
Can you believe I said that? A year ago, my bags and boxes were packed and ready to hop on a plane to Northern California and I couldn't see myself doing anything other than seeing patients. Fast-forward a year - with actual everyday physician shadowing under my belt and a more realistic view of the realities of practicing medicine - and I've come to the conclusion that even if I did have an MD, I would do a residency in Preventive Medicine and not even practice clinical medicine.
What's the point of that?! I just took up a spot in a medical school class that someone else could've taken to become the next pioneering neurosurgeon or helped fill the gap in primary care in urban and/or underserved areas! Not to mention, I just don't want to assume the major risk that is student loan debt. I enjoy science and patient interaction - but those alone are not enough to undergo medical training. I think your heart really has to be in it, and mine simply isn't. Without that passion, it just becomes meaningless robotic movements that will lead to years of resentment, sadness and wasted time - and time is money. For me personally, the cons now far outweigh the pros of becoming an American physician.
The prospect of me not entering medicine is new and refreshing. I'm going to try my best to take advantage of all that the MPH has to offer - maybe do research and a thesis, an international practicum or internship, etc.
Lots of new experiences to come and hopefully, they won't be too overwhelming and will make me become a better person, and a more informed and productive citizen. More posts to come!
DHP
Sunday, June 3, 2012
IT'S SUMMER 2012!!!
Okay, I will admit I've been procrastinating about writing this entry. It's been on my To-Do List but I keep pushing it back because there's just so much to say and so much to cover. But, without further ado....
(1) I successfully finished the spring 2012 semester! Sociology and physics went very well and I'm happy with how much I learned and my performance in both courses. The funny thing is I've always been able to somehow connect all of my classes together in college, regardless how disparate they may seem. Physics and sociology both try to explain the world around us, but of course the theories and methods are completely different.
(2) My parents have been on this renovation craze! I might actually be going crazy. If it's not the bathroom, it's dumping half a driveway full of soil/sand to be shoveled to the backyard. Y'all already know I HATE outdoorsy work! I have so much respect for the laborers - I physically could not do what they do for a living. And the heat. My goodness. I want to yell at my parents to chill the hell out because one has chronic pain issues and one has cardiac problems - know your limits! But I will say that throughout this experience, I can definitely see where a lot of my personality traits come from - my dad's neurotic obsession with having things being perfect and my mom's strict adherence to order. I think the renovations are slowing down though, which is great because it's about to get even hotter.
(3) I've officially accepted my admission offer to the University of Texas School of Public Health over the University of Minnesota. UMN is a great program, but I don't think the focus of the program was what I waned to concentrate on. And honestly, the whole moving-out-of-state thing really just stressed me out. Not to mention, it snows there. I don't know how to handle that. I've found housing and will be moving to the Texas Medical Center in mid-August. I'm ecstatic because I'm closer to my friends and I can get out of Podunkland, Suburbia! Of course it would've been cheaper to stay at home but there's no way in hell I would've tolerated the insane commute from Podunkland to the TMC every day, in rush hour traffic, plus the obscene parking fees. No. So I'm once again packing up and moving, but this time, just "down the street." For the sake of my own sanity, I NEED to move out of the house. I feel like even at a molecular level, it's just not appropriate for a college graduate and soon-to-be-graduate-student in his 20s to be living at home with Mom and Dad. Don't get me wrong - I love the convenience and my family, but I value my space, privacy, and what little independence I have.
(4) I'm bummed my regular season shows have all ended, but all superb finales. I feel like a part of has moved on with the series finale of shows like House and Desperate Housewives. These shows were on since I was in high school! And now they're over. Maybe they represent all great things also have to come to an end and we have to move forward. But my summer shows are starting up this week: Drop Dead Diva, Rizzoli & Isles, Franklin & Bash, Covert Affairs.... so pretty much TNT and USA.
(5) I start summer school this week - organic chemistry. Joy. I'm going to spend tomorrow reading ahead and attempting the homework. Obviously it's not ideal for me to complete pre-reqs during the summer but I don't see any other alternative because when I start the MPH in the fall, I want to focus my time solely to public health and not worrying about organic or physics. So I'm going to have to suck it up and plow through once I hit the ground running. I hope that four years later, I've developed the maturity, patience, discipline, and focus to get through the material this time. A few years ago, I would've bitched incessantly about these silly pre-med requirements but I think more than anything, they test a person's discipline, patience and ambition. Sure, maybe you'll use 5% of the material in your medical studies but I think the approach, focus and pedagogical objectives between undergraduate science courses and medical school coursework are different. I think once we hit a certain threshold of understanding fundamental medical sciences, adding a shit ton more of discrete facts doesn't really add any more to educational experience and only serves as a distraction from other endeavors, like more clinical exposure to various specialties, or seminars and research in the medical humanities. Hence, the American medical profession requires aspiring physicians to partake in ancillary activities to see who truly wants to be a physician, who can delay gratification longer in order to make it to the other side. Despite all of the negatives to becoming a physician in today's political and economic climate, I know that I wouldn't be happy in the long run in any other field. Believe me, I've searched and searched, but I know ultimately I want to be a full-service clinician with autonomy and the versatility to see patients, prescribe medication, order and interpret tests, teach medical students and residents, and do research that helps inform policy makers of the realities of medical practice.
(6) I can't believe it's already the 2012 London Olympics! Just four years ago, the world was focused on China. I remember taking summer classes, watching the Olympics coverage non-stop, with So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance Crew (I know, I'm embarrassed to even admit it), Shit, time flies. It's been nearly a year since I left Oakland and it's been a year since I gradated from UT. AH! The other day I was watching a two-hour special on the History Channel entitled "The History of Us." It pretty much started out with the Big Bang Theory (an amazing show!), how the sun formed, how Earth formed, the first organisms to live on Earth and the subsequent evolutionary and geological transformations on this planet, all the way to the dinosaurs, Ice Ages, homo sapiens, to the first humans, the diaspora from Africa, the start of ancient civilizations, trading networks, Columbus sailing to the New World, and pretty much the rest is history once we get to the 1500s right? It's just incredibly amazing how much humans are capable of accomplishing and the history of out species is really just a blip. It was inspiring to witness the amazing ingenious technological innovations invented by man.... but then people start getting greedy and wars are waged in the name of the almighty dollar or the political/ religious ideologies of extremists. People wonder if there are other aliens in the universe and if there are, why haven't they visited us? A comment on a website pretty much said that the evidence of other intelligent life is that they have NOT visited us yet - probably because they don't want part of this clusterfuck. Understandable. People fear the extraterrestrial and supernatural but I think humans are unfortunately capable of any kind of wickedness. But there's always some sort of justification for that kind of behavior isn't there? Despite all the shortcomings of human behavior, I'm excited to see the London 2012 Olympics and I know I'm going to get goosebumps seeing Team USA and hearing the national anthem and seeing a flurry of national flags marching into a packed stadium. If only for a few weeks, the world truly is united. Plus, let's get real - shirtless swimmers and divers, men in spandex and bulging muscles - this all leaves very little to the imagination.
(7) I've still got a few months but I can't help but wonder what my classmates will be like in the MPH program. How are the faculty members? Is it just going to be like undergrad all over again, with hundreds of kids in one class? What's the workload like? Are there opportunities to do an international practicum or work abroad after completing the MPH? I was briefly considering the joint Master of Global Policy Studies with the LBJ School of Public Affairs but I don't know if there is a compelling enough reason to add on another year of coursework + tuition. I'd love to be back in Austin but I ultimately don't know if it's worth it. Will the MPH be sufficient to satisfy my interest in health policy and my desire to go abroad again? I'm really feeling Brazil right now - probably because they're going to be hosting the FIFA World Cup and the 2016 Summer Olympics! In true HMQD fashion, I've analyzed my degree plan and at the latest, I should be able to finish the MPH in May 2014. If I can get in and start med school in 2016, I'll graduate med school with the Class of 2020! AH! How poetically awesome is that?! So that gives me roughly two years to work in a public health capacity. But that's just me thinking out loud right now... who knows, my plans will surely change!
And I'll continue to keep y'all posted of any new developments! =)
Until next time,
Dean
(1) I successfully finished the spring 2012 semester! Sociology and physics went very well and I'm happy with how much I learned and my performance in both courses. The funny thing is I've always been able to somehow connect all of my classes together in college, regardless how disparate they may seem. Physics and sociology both try to explain the world around us, but of course the theories and methods are completely different.
(2) My parents have been on this renovation craze! I might actually be going crazy. If it's not the bathroom, it's dumping half a driveway full of soil/sand to be shoveled to the backyard. Y'all already know I HATE outdoorsy work! I have so much respect for the laborers - I physically could not do what they do for a living. And the heat. My goodness. I want to yell at my parents to chill the hell out because one has chronic pain issues and one has cardiac problems - know your limits! But I will say that throughout this experience, I can definitely see where a lot of my personality traits come from - my dad's neurotic obsession with having things being perfect and my mom's strict adherence to order. I think the renovations are slowing down though, which is great because it's about to get even hotter.
(3) I've officially accepted my admission offer to the University of Texas School of Public Health over the University of Minnesota. UMN is a great program, but I don't think the focus of the program was what I waned to concentrate on. And honestly, the whole moving-out-of-state thing really just stressed me out. Not to mention, it snows there. I don't know how to handle that. I've found housing and will be moving to the Texas Medical Center in mid-August. I'm ecstatic because I'm closer to my friends and I can get out of Podunkland, Suburbia! Of course it would've been cheaper to stay at home but there's no way in hell I would've tolerated the insane commute from Podunkland to the TMC every day, in rush hour traffic, plus the obscene parking fees. No. So I'm once again packing up and moving, but this time, just "down the street." For the sake of my own sanity, I NEED to move out of the house. I feel like even at a molecular level, it's just not appropriate for a college graduate and soon-to-be-graduate-student in his 20s to be living at home with Mom and Dad. Don't get me wrong - I love the convenience and my family, but I value my space, privacy, and what little independence I have.
(4) I'm bummed my regular season shows have all ended, but all superb finales. I feel like a part of has moved on with the series finale of shows like House and Desperate Housewives. These shows were on since I was in high school! And now they're over. Maybe they represent all great things also have to come to an end and we have to move forward. But my summer shows are starting up this week: Drop Dead Diva, Rizzoli & Isles, Franklin & Bash, Covert Affairs.... so pretty much TNT and USA.
(5) I start summer school this week - organic chemistry. Joy. I'm going to spend tomorrow reading ahead and attempting the homework. Obviously it's not ideal for me to complete pre-reqs during the summer but I don't see any other alternative because when I start the MPH in the fall, I want to focus my time solely to public health and not worrying about organic or physics. So I'm going to have to suck it up and plow through once I hit the ground running. I hope that four years later, I've developed the maturity, patience, discipline, and focus to get through the material this time. A few years ago, I would've bitched incessantly about these silly pre-med requirements but I think more than anything, they test a person's discipline, patience and ambition. Sure, maybe you'll use 5% of the material in your medical studies but I think the approach, focus and pedagogical objectives between undergraduate science courses and medical school coursework are different. I think once we hit a certain threshold of understanding fundamental medical sciences, adding a shit ton more of discrete facts doesn't really add any more to educational experience and only serves as a distraction from other endeavors, like more clinical exposure to various specialties, or seminars and research in the medical humanities. Hence, the American medical profession requires aspiring physicians to partake in ancillary activities to see who truly wants to be a physician, who can delay gratification longer in order to make it to the other side. Despite all of the negatives to becoming a physician in today's political and economic climate, I know that I wouldn't be happy in the long run in any other field. Believe me, I've searched and searched, but I know ultimately I want to be a full-service clinician with autonomy and the versatility to see patients, prescribe medication, order and interpret tests, teach medical students and residents, and do research that helps inform policy makers of the realities of medical practice.
(6) I can't believe it's already the 2012 London Olympics! Just four years ago, the world was focused on China. I remember taking summer classes, watching the Olympics coverage non-stop, with So You Think You Can Dance and America's Best Dance Crew (I know, I'm embarrassed to even admit it), Shit, time flies. It's been nearly a year since I left Oakland and it's been a year since I gradated from UT. AH! The other day I was watching a two-hour special on the History Channel entitled "The History of Us." It pretty much started out with the Big Bang Theory (an amazing show!), how the sun formed, how Earth formed, the first organisms to live on Earth and the subsequent evolutionary and geological transformations on this planet, all the way to the dinosaurs, Ice Ages, homo sapiens, to the first humans, the diaspora from Africa, the start of ancient civilizations, trading networks, Columbus sailing to the New World, and pretty much the rest is history once we get to the 1500s right? It's just incredibly amazing how much humans are capable of accomplishing and the history of out species is really just a blip. It was inspiring to witness the amazing ingenious technological innovations invented by man.... but then people start getting greedy and wars are waged in the name of the almighty dollar or the political/ religious ideologies of extremists. People wonder if there are other aliens in the universe and if there are, why haven't they visited us? A comment on a website pretty much said that the evidence of other intelligent life is that they have NOT visited us yet - probably because they don't want part of this clusterfuck. Understandable. People fear the extraterrestrial and supernatural but I think humans are unfortunately capable of any kind of wickedness. But there's always some sort of justification for that kind of behavior isn't there? Despite all the shortcomings of human behavior, I'm excited to see the London 2012 Olympics and I know I'm going to get goosebumps seeing Team USA and hearing the national anthem and seeing a flurry of national flags marching into a packed stadium. If only for a few weeks, the world truly is united. Plus, let's get real - shirtless swimmers and divers, men in spandex and bulging muscles - this all leaves very little to the imagination.
(7) I've still got a few months but I can't help but wonder what my classmates will be like in the MPH program. How are the faculty members? Is it just going to be like undergrad all over again, with hundreds of kids in one class? What's the workload like? Are there opportunities to do an international practicum or work abroad after completing the MPH? I was briefly considering the joint Master of Global Policy Studies with the LBJ School of Public Affairs but I don't know if there is a compelling enough reason to add on another year of coursework + tuition. I'd love to be back in Austin but I ultimately don't know if it's worth it. Will the MPH be sufficient to satisfy my interest in health policy and my desire to go abroad again? I'm really feeling Brazil right now - probably because they're going to be hosting the FIFA World Cup and the 2016 Summer Olympics! In true HMQD fashion, I've analyzed my degree plan and at the latest, I should be able to finish the MPH in May 2014. If I can get in and start med school in 2016, I'll graduate med school with the Class of 2020! AH! How poetically awesome is that?! So that gives me roughly two years to work in a public health capacity. But that's just me thinking out loud right now... who knows, my plans will surely change!
And I'll continue to keep y'all posted of any new developments! =)
Until next time,
Dean
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Long Overdue for an Update......
I've completely neglected this blog and I apologize. I wanted to wait until I had something substantial to write about rather than mindlessly bitching.
I'm still waiting to hear back from my other graduate program I applied to. According to their timeline I should find out this week or next week but the wait is killing me. I think someone is torturing me purposely. I JUST WANT TO KNOW. HOUSTON OR DALLAS. HOUSTON OR DALLAS.
Since my last post, I have found a volleyball group to play with! YAY! It's sad but it's the one thing I actually look forward to each week. Thursday night literally makes my soul feel lighter. But the bad news is the league stops playing next week so I either have to wait until they start again or find a new group. I'm hoping the YMCA starts something up in the meantime.
School has been okay. It's hard being in classes with people who are younger than me and have a completely different perspective than my own. Needless to say, I continue to miss and yearn for Austin each and every day. My soul dies a little the longer I'm away from Austin; volleyball heals it a little but there will always be a void in my heart specifically for the 40 Acres, the tower, burnt orange, 24th street, Guadalupe, the DLA, the Union, Chick-fil-a, Smokehouse, Gregory Gym, even Jester and the PCL and walking through the Business School to avoid the outside weather.
Parking at the community college is atrocious. They need to place an enrollment cap. How about setting an actual standard, like an SAT or ACT score? Too many high school kids running around and I have a feeling quite a few lost nontraditional students. I know, I know, how elitist of me. I'm just impatient and don't tolerate stupidity and ignorance as much as I used to.
I just really want to get through this spring and summer before I start grad school in the fall. Speaking of stupidity, today in my sociology class, we were discussing subcultures and countercultures in society. A student raised his hand and suggested that gays were part of a counterculture because "they spread AIDS."
What.
The.
Fuck.
Per my Tweet: #dumbass #speechless. There was a noticeable grumbling across the classroom, even from the older men on the other side of the classroom. Did he really just say that? I didn't even know how to respond. I sat there pondering but I didn't raise hell or anything because (1) it was super early in the morning and I didn't have energy and (2) it wouldn't be fair to rip him a new one (har har) for being ignorant. The sociology instructor handled his insane suggestion with poise and debunked his illogical thinking in that heterosexuals and drug users ALSO spread AIDS. His Tweet would probably read #shocking right about now.
That's the kind of student demographic I'm dealing with now. Not that everyone at Texas was a TC or dean's honors list kid, but I mean, COME ON. Ugh, there is nothing charming about the city I've come back to. I'm reminded of why I was rushing to get the hell out of here back in the spring of 2007.
But I really do enjoy my classes. I've made a few acquaintances and I enjoy the instructors, even the content - yes, even physics believe it or not. The instructor went to Texas as well so that's neat. The funny thing is I haven't done this much math since 2007-08 and I even had to use a protractor! I haven't used a freaking protractor since freshman year of high school, circa 2004-05.
I only have classes MW 830 - 1250 but believe me, I cringe and hate my life every Monday and Wednesday morning at 6:45. But I've got to suck it up and get through the grind. Because apparently the powers that be mandate that physics is absolutely essential to succeed in medical school and in becoming a physician. Maybe it's the scientific process itself and thinking about what information we have, what we're trying to look for and what formulas we have in our toolbox we can use to derive an answer rather than the actual content? Does this logic mirror making a clinical diagnosis based on a patient's history, physical exam and symptoms, medications they're currently on, and what further tests would be appropriate to run in order to arrive at the correct diagnosis?
But my argument is that at the undergraduate level, the pedagogy seems to be much more "higher-level critical thinking skills" while medical school and residency is "memorize as much shit as you possibly can to score a high Step 1 so you can match into dermatology or radiation oncology so you can avoid primary care." I'm only half-kidding about the latter - but for real, it's brute memorization. Why is there a discrepancy and what can we do to reconcile that difference in learning and thinking so people can gain as much meaning as they can pre- medical school and throughout their medical careers? I don't have the answers but I hope to one day, when I'm Senior Associate Dean for Curriculum or Vice Dean of Medical Education at a medical school... at least if I can play institutional politics. Blech.
A year ago, I had been accepted into an Ivy League for graduate school, and I was still adamant that I wanted to become a physician and I even maintained vehemently that people should not enter medicine unless they actually want to treat patients. Many other people have echoed my sentiments but now.... I've taken a different view. What's wrong with a research career? What's wrong with an administrative career? What if I don't want to be tied to a hospital and/or clinic? What if I want to travel and work in international medicine and health policy (I freaking miss you Denmark)?
It's funny how at one point in your life, things you thought were so important and were passionate about become almost obsolete later on. People change, and so do their interests. The good thing since my return to Texas is that I've been a little less rigid in my pursuit of medicine: lately my mantra has been, "Let's get through physics and organic chemistry. Take the MCAT. If you can beak into the double digits, you've got a chance. If not, it's Jesus' way of saying 'Thanks for playing, Dean. Please start a new game.'" If it happens, it happens and I'll go where my heart leads me, but I'm bringing my brain along for the ride. And whatever field I find myself in, I can only hope that I excel in it to be able to produce work that is useful to society on a large scale.
That's all I have for now. Oh, wait - I think I have psoriasis. Ew, I know. Genetics plays a role in it - yet another reason I would not have kids, adopted or biological. As a fetus, I seem to have collected all the crap genes in the Phamily. Ugh. And I wouldn't want to pass high blood pressure and cholesterol or whatever else to my child - or my bad social habits like chronic headaches from stress, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Type A(-) personality, among other things.
Okay, NOW I'm done. I must fulfill my suburban housewife duties and wait in line to pick up my sister from school. #UghIcan'twaittomoveforgradschool
Dean Squared
I'm still waiting to hear back from my other graduate program I applied to. According to their timeline I should find out this week or next week but the wait is killing me. I think someone is torturing me purposely. I JUST WANT TO KNOW. HOUSTON OR DALLAS. HOUSTON OR DALLAS.
Since my last post, I have found a volleyball group to play with! YAY! It's sad but it's the one thing I actually look forward to each week. Thursday night literally makes my soul feel lighter. But the bad news is the league stops playing next week so I either have to wait until they start again or find a new group. I'm hoping the YMCA starts something up in the meantime.
School has been okay. It's hard being in classes with people who are younger than me and have a completely different perspective than my own. Needless to say, I continue to miss and yearn for Austin each and every day. My soul dies a little the longer I'm away from Austin; volleyball heals it a little but there will always be a void in my heart specifically for the 40 Acres, the tower, burnt orange, 24th street, Guadalupe, the DLA, the Union, Chick-fil-a, Smokehouse, Gregory Gym, even Jester and the PCL and walking through the Business School to avoid the outside weather.
Parking at the community college is atrocious. They need to place an enrollment cap. How about setting an actual standard, like an SAT or ACT score? Too many high school kids running around and I have a feeling quite a few lost nontraditional students. I know, I know, how elitist of me. I'm just impatient and don't tolerate stupidity and ignorance as much as I used to.
I just really want to get through this spring and summer before I start grad school in the fall. Speaking of stupidity, today in my sociology class, we were discussing subcultures and countercultures in society. A student raised his hand and suggested that gays were part of a counterculture because "they spread AIDS."
What.
The.
Fuck.
Per my Tweet: #dumbass #speechless. There was a noticeable grumbling across the classroom, even from the older men on the other side of the classroom. Did he really just say that? I didn't even know how to respond. I sat there pondering but I didn't raise hell or anything because (1) it was super early in the morning and I didn't have energy and (2) it wouldn't be fair to rip him a new one (har har) for being ignorant. The sociology instructor handled his insane suggestion with poise and debunked his illogical thinking in that heterosexuals and drug users ALSO spread AIDS. His Tweet would probably read #shocking right about now.
That's the kind of student demographic I'm dealing with now. Not that everyone at Texas was a TC or dean's honors list kid, but I mean, COME ON. Ugh, there is nothing charming about the city I've come back to. I'm reminded of why I was rushing to get the hell out of here back in the spring of 2007.
But I really do enjoy my classes. I've made a few acquaintances and I enjoy the instructors, even the content - yes, even physics believe it or not. The instructor went to Texas as well so that's neat. The funny thing is I haven't done this much math since 2007-08 and I even had to use a protractor! I haven't used a freaking protractor since freshman year of high school, circa 2004-05.
I only have classes MW 830 - 1250 but believe me, I cringe and hate my life every Monday and Wednesday morning at 6:45. But I've got to suck it up and get through the grind. Because apparently the powers that be mandate that physics is absolutely essential to succeed in medical school and in becoming a physician. Maybe it's the scientific process itself and thinking about what information we have, what we're trying to look for and what formulas we have in our toolbox we can use to derive an answer rather than the actual content? Does this logic mirror making a clinical diagnosis based on a patient's history, physical exam and symptoms, medications they're currently on, and what further tests would be appropriate to run in order to arrive at the correct diagnosis?
But my argument is that at the undergraduate level, the pedagogy seems to be much more "higher-level critical thinking skills" while medical school and residency is "memorize as much shit as you possibly can to score a high Step 1 so you can match into dermatology or radiation oncology so you can avoid primary care." I'm only half-kidding about the latter - but for real, it's brute memorization. Why is there a discrepancy and what can we do to reconcile that difference in learning and thinking so people can gain as much meaning as they can pre- medical school and throughout their medical careers? I don't have the answers but I hope to one day, when I'm Senior Associate Dean for Curriculum or Vice Dean of Medical Education at a medical school... at least if I can play institutional politics. Blech.
A year ago, I had been accepted into an Ivy League for graduate school, and I was still adamant that I wanted to become a physician and I even maintained vehemently that people should not enter medicine unless they actually want to treat patients. Many other people have echoed my sentiments but now.... I've taken a different view. What's wrong with a research career? What's wrong with an administrative career? What if I don't want to be tied to a hospital and/or clinic? What if I want to travel and work in international medicine and health policy (I freaking miss you Denmark)?
It's funny how at one point in your life, things you thought were so important and were passionate about become almost obsolete later on. People change, and so do their interests. The good thing since my return to Texas is that I've been a little less rigid in my pursuit of medicine: lately my mantra has been, "Let's get through physics and organic chemistry. Take the MCAT. If you can beak into the double digits, you've got a chance. If not, it's Jesus' way of saying 'Thanks for playing, Dean. Please start a new game.'" If it happens, it happens and I'll go where my heart leads me, but I'm bringing my brain along for the ride. And whatever field I find myself in, I can only hope that I excel in it to be able to produce work that is useful to society on a large scale.
That's all I have for now. Oh, wait - I think I have psoriasis. Ew, I know. Genetics plays a role in it - yet another reason I would not have kids, adopted or biological. As a fetus, I seem to have collected all the crap genes in the Phamily. Ugh. And I wouldn't want to pass high blood pressure and cholesterol or whatever else to my child - or my bad social habits like chronic headaches from stress, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Type A(-) personality, among other things.
Okay, NOW I'm done. I must fulfill my suburban housewife duties and wait in line to pick up my sister from school. #UghIcan'twaittomoveforgradschool
Dean Squared
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